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Posts Tagged ‘Celebrity death’

kermit outline

Kermit The Frog has succumbed to death from the H1N1 Influenza Swine Flu. 

There were rumors over the years that Kermit he overdosed on Heroine and fatally shot himself  http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i3170 , but Kermit was alive and on the mend after attending the Cookie Monster’s Rehab Center on Sesame Street.

Most recently he and his divorced wife, Miss Piggy and their seven” frigs -hybrid offspring as the result of a frog and a pig procreating,” had been seen at Chuckie Cheese rekindling their romance kissing and holding hands while the children played. 

Listening to the CDC warnings that H1N1 virus could not be transmitted by pig, or unprotected sex with a pig; autopsy reports have shown he was indeed a victim of Swine Flu.  Kermit’s case is the first mutation of  bird, pig, human, frog mutation. Results are inconclusive if Kermit was sneaking BLT sandwiches for lunch and could also not rule out tainted tomatoes.  The CDC is informing people not to consume raw or undercooked frog legs.   There is no known vaccination for this new strain.  He was found alone in his apartment after the mailman noticed a foul odor and large stack of fan mail in front of his door.

Miss Piggy and the frigs are in isolation and treatments of Relenza and Tamiflu are being administered.  They appear to be recovering.  Miss Piggy was up and about telling jokes.

“Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 100? ‘Cause at 69 she gets a frog in her throat,”  she said, tears streaming in grief. 

The entire staff of the Muppet Show was sadden to learn of such a tenacious actor who affected so many you people’s lives.  They were grateful that he had not been on the set to infect anyone else.  Oscar The Grouch has moved to the streets of California where recyclable trashcans prevent the flu virus from permeating to its occupants.

A member of The Green Party, he had recently been an adviser to Al Gore and President Obama on creating more wet land habitats for frogs during the recent Land Management Grab Act. 

Kermit had also traveled on vacation to see Miss Piggy’s relatives outside Mexico City, ignoring travel warnings from Joe Biden.

Piglet, of Winnie the Pooh fame has been keeping his distance from co-workers as well, noting that he has received a restraining order from Christopher Robin.  He intends to partake in the eulogy.

Kermit the Frog was preceded in death by his father Jim Henson, who did not die of Swine Flu.  Funeral arrangements are pending with mourners asked in lieu of flowers to sign a petition to save all of the frogs that are getting run over and harmed by humans at http://www.thepetitionsite.com/42/help-save-the-frogs-that-get-run-over .  Or conservation biologist Kerry Kriger, who in reality researches to prevent the extinction of wildlife populations including frogs. http://www.savethefrogs.com/kerrykriger.html

What’s life without a little satire?  Names/images are owned by their respective copyright holders.  photo props to http://www.jpgmag.com/photos/1461608

For a satirical update on the FDA’s fast track approval of Obama O’s cereal from Cheerios maker General Mills check here https://ahrcanum.wordpress.com/2009/05/14/obama-os-cereal-general-mills-and-cheerios-gains-fda-approval/

You might enjoy these related Flu Posts-

https://ahrcanum.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/pig-is-good-if-a-pig-had-personality/

https://ahrcanum.wordpress.com/2009/05/10/fema-ready-for-flu-pandemic-fire-floods-resistance/

https://ahrcanum.wordpress.com/2009/05/09/swine-flu-vaccine-obama-ready-for-mass-inoculations/ 

https://ahrcanum.wordpress.com/2009/05/08/manny-ramirez-the-cdc-investigation-for-truth/

https://ahrcanum.wordpress.com/2009/05/07/encode-or-endgamegenetic-sequencing-of-pigs-people/

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